Taking Control Of Your Life
“When you think everything is someone else’s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both joy and peace.” – His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama
To be ‘at effect’ is to live your life as though things just happen to you, and you have no choice or say in how it turns out. This is sometimes described as being a victim in life. We have all done this, and many people probably spend most of their lives in this state.
As a victim, your beliefs are that there is no alternative because the situation is hopeless. Even if there was hope, there is nothing you can do about it because you are helpless and don’t know what to do about it. And as if that wasn’t enough, many people believe they are worthless as human beings, and therefore just have to carry on putting up with the suffering of life.
These particular beliefs may be the fundamental underlying cause of most human misery. There is an alternative.
To be ‘at cause’ is to live your life more as if you are the primary cause, either of what happens to you, or of what you do with what happens to you. This is a completely different mindset, with completely different belief systems. There is no easy way to explain this in plain language, until you have experienced this very different reality. The more you experience it, the more sense it begins to make.
Your main belief is that despite circumstances, you are responsible for creating the reality of your life, and it’s up to you to find out how to do it. To the extent that you can become the primary cause of your life, you can begin to manifest a life that is more the way you would like it to be.
If all you did was alter your life to be ‘at cause’ rather than ‘at effect’, in a few months you could make a significant difference, and begin to turn things around. In a few years you could make major changes in your life for the better. It is hard to imagine the cumulative effect of using this approach over a few decades.
Perhaps the question to ask yourself is: “Where are you on the spectrum, from being at the effect of life, to being the primary cause in your life?” And where would you rather be? What will motivate you to make these changes? Most importantly, how do you get from where you are to where you would rather be?
The skills of NLP will help you get there quite nicely. Here are six key elements; how many do you practice regularly?
- Take complete responsibility for your life and waste no energy on blaming anybody or anything.
- Accept yourself as you are and assume that you’re always doing the best you can with what you’ve been given.
- Reflect regularly on what really matters in your life and set positive intentions daily.
- Notice what works and appreciate it. Notice what doesn’t work and imagine what exactly you would do instead.
- Become more aware of limiting beliefs and negative emotions but focus your attention on developing more empowering beliefs and resourceful emotions.
- Keep a daily reflective journal and meet with peers regularly to support each other.
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